“They patted this one guy down for, like, ten or fifteen minutes,” said Jeremy Fisher. “God, it took him forever to ejaculate. Do you know what that does to the lines??

The United Arab Emirates’ Civil Aviation Authority has rejected claims that a US-bound Emirates’ flight from Dubai contained “suspicious” parcels from Yemen.

Corrections Facilities, Border Control and Airport Screening Can Leverage Iris, Facial and Fingerprint Recognition and Card Readers Without Radiation or Privacy Issues

In America today, we have become so spooked by “terror threats” that now we will submit to just about anything in the name of security.

In other words, people, when faced with a choice, will inevitably choose the Dick-Measuring Device over molestation? “That’s what we’re hoping for. We’re trying to get everyone into the machine.”

THE boss of British Airways has called for “completely redundant” airport security checks to be scrapped.

The “whole body imaging” scanner has arrived at Philadelphia International Airport. Blah blah blah. But check out the backlash manifested in the article’s comments.